he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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