Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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