So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
