that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
