i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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