Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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