I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
