My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
