he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
