Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
