3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
