I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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