look no pants
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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