Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
