Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
