just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
