your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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