when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Semen is not good for contacts.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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