I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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