Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
