I must be too annoying 4 u.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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