Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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