wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
