ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
