That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
