the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
there is puke in my bra ... again
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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