k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
