I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
