You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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