Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
