I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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