Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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