It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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