I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
