we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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