yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you