he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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