i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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