We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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