overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
