he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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