I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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