It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I will be naked everywhere
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
