i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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