I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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