that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
