but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
