I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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