she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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