im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
