I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
