I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
