I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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