I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....