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I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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