Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.