if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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