STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
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is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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