I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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