He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
