This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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