i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
