By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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