things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
