dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
