the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
