I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
