Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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