i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
