So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
